308,160 minutes


birth project_1

[ from The Birth Project by  Amanda Greavette, via The Joy Of This ]

308,160 minutes since the arrival of my first child ! how full each moment, how laden. the luster of the ethereal shines through the dust of day-to-day activities, and now, 7 months later, I turn to glimpse a flicker of my life before motherhood only to watch it vanish in shifts of light. I am not a religious person, but creating this new life with my husband is the most spiritual experience I have yet encountered. my consciousness was pushed deep inside my body for 9 complex months, but now with the arrival of my son, it is thrust open into the full space of the day. I am alert to his gurgling sounds, the spreading glow of his smile, the thump of his limbs as he learns to crawl, pull up, turn over, reach out. as he finds his world and makes sense of it, so too am I relearning the contours of my life, my spirit, my goals, my voice. there is no such thing as silence anymore, for my brain is full of train-like thoughts, speeding from the station in many different directions. tumbling with humdrum to-do’s are the larger questions of who I will be as a parent, who my husband will reveal himself to be as a father, and most importantly, how best we can pull and prod Marsden into himself as he grows into his own person.

i wax nostalgic, burst like a blustery wind, ramble like cool water over river stones, grow poetic when I consider the density of time which yet so briskly moves.

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